My Backpack Needs a Blinker

By: Goo

Written: 5/12/05

I’ll be walking down the halls of my high school, and I’ll come up beside someone who’s going slow. Really really slow, I mean, I just saw a slug pass her on the right she’s going so slow. I’ll look for a gap in the flow of people, and I’ll attempt to dart toward it, but I have to make sure to check oncoming traffic and cross traffic... it almost seems as if we all need to install blinkers on our backpacks so we can signal our intentions

(Signal our intentions... we should all wear light bulb sign things on our heads, and when some guy spots the hot chick going down the hall, his light bulb would go on and a little thing would say “My place, tonight?” I think it would make for a good laugh between classes, and in the classroom. Bored during a lecture? Your little head thing would go, “_____, this guy’s boring!” It’d be kinda like Inspector Gadget....” We could also paint lines down the hall, have separate lanes of traffic to help reduce collisions. In fact, they might as well give us all some of those handicapped electric wheelychair things. We could build the desktop right into it, so we wouldn’t need desks anymore....

Then, the hall monitors could run around with their sirens on their wheelychairs, pulling over students who are speeding. You would hear a “Weeeee....” and be like, “Ha! Caleb got pulled over for speeding again. He’ll probably get suspended.”

Now you’re thinking, “Electric wheelychairs, lame!” But, some of those wheelychairs have tires that are a whole ton beefier than the tires on my mountainboard! Some of those things would be awesome for offroading. ATV’s are entirely overrated, electric wheelchair for me!

Do you need a blinker too?